It’s that thing that pops up every time you open your browser. It’s a big blank white page with a search bar. It’s magic. Magic you take for granted every single day of your adult or perhaps tween life. It is the answer to almost anything you can think of.

So why do you not use it?!

Now, let me first say that I actually do enjoy being asked questions. I love discussing, learning, and yes, occasionally being proved wrong, because it means that I have expanded a myopic view on a topic I clearly needed to know more about.

What I get weary of-I don’t want to say dislike-is answering the same question over and over that I know is easily found with the click of a button. May I add that I am seriously not trying to sound like a jerk, I legitimately do want to inspire you. But I find that there is this really disturbing attitude of “gimme gimme” that people are confusing with “educate me”. It’s sort of the classic giving a man a fish versus teaching him to fish.

So please understand that when you ask a question framed as advice, that the response from me will always be to look it up, followed by a few open ended questions that are meant to help you ruminate on the topic at hand. Not because I’m mean or don’t care, but the opposite. Because, I am many things. Occasionally flippant. Mouthy. Apathetic. But at my sincerest level I am committed to the education of the population in any of the myriad of ways I think you are capable of learning. And to be honest I think you guys are soooo much smarter than you allow yourself to be.

So to reiterate. If you email me and ask what an embalmer does, I am going to tell you to Google it. If I tell you to look towards expanding your horizon and think about being a Pathologist or a Coroner, and you ask what they do, I am going to tell you to Google it. If you want to know how to get a job I am going to tell you to Google it. I know all the answers are there because that is how I got here. I-say it with me-Googled it.

Annnnnnnd just so this post gives you a little something something….

Here are some questions I want you to ask yourself before you write me so we can have an expanded conversation. Knowing the answers to these questions allows me to utlize our time better while chatting.

  • Why do you want to be funeral director?
  • Why do you want to be an embalmer?
  • How will this job make you a better human?
  • How will you help other humans with this job?
  • How much does this job pay?
    • Is that enough to survive?
    • (In California it’s often not)
  • How many people in your area are hiring?
  • Have you looked up the homes in your area?
  • Have you looked up the requirements?
  • How much schooling does it require?
  • How much money are you willing to put forth for your schooling?
  • Are you willing to take out school loans?
  • What mortuary schools are in your area?
  • Do you want to get your BA or BS?
    • Why or why not?
  • What value do you place on higher education?
  • Have you looked at other jobs that offer some of the same traits of being a funeral director or embalmer that you enjoy?
    • What do they pay?
    • What are the chances of being able to grow and change with these careers?
    • How prevalent are they in your area? Meaning do you have a better chance of finding work with those careers?

These are just a few questions that come to my mind. Think heavily on them. And, if you still want to talk after. I’m here.


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